Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
