Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
