I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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