My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
