we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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