I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
