Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
