Girls should come with a carfax report
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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