Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
