You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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