So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
