I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
