Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
