Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
