Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
be right there i have to get my cape
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
