Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
