Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize