you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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