please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
