my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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