I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm like, not good at living.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
