Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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