Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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