I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize