Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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