Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
