So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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