There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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