i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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