how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
someone owes me an orgasm
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
