BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
