Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
