need another drink. this is the easiest way
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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