Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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