If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
