If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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