The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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