And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
