It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
