you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
