I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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