I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
