That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize