it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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