I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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