Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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