I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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