well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
