Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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