On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
