I wish I could punch you in the face.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
