You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
