she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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