Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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