True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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