Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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