C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
