Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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