he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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